


cutting ties

by schnaf



Series: im-prompt-u challenge [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26975113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schnaf/pseuds/schnaf
Summary: Phil likes Dan a lot, he really does. Still, he can't let him know more about his life. But apparently, Dan didn't get the memo.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: im-prompt-u challenge [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969618
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: Im-PROMPT-u Phandom Creator Challenge 2020





	cutting ties

**Author's Note:**

> well. today's prompt was "funeral up top, party from the waist down" and i decided to take it pretty literal. sooo... let's go have a look at phil's outfit! \o/

Normally, Phil isn't this bad at planning - he'd agreed to the time Dan proposed for their next date because he thought he could actually make it. But then, he got the news that he had to attend a funeral today and he hadn't even taken the funeral itself into account, let alone that it took place on the outskirts of London and that there wasn't a tube going back to the city centre every five minutes. Luckily he was able to make it back home with a few minutes to spare.

Okay. Now he’s trying to get changed as fast as possible, that’s all that counts. Trousers - done. Phil takes a quick moment to look at himself in the mirror and - yes, good choice, really good choice. A brave one maybe, because he's normally not the kind of guy who wears glittery pants, but they're still subtle, more subtle than white trousers. The glitter is woven into the black fabric and you can see the shimmer only when you actually focus on it.

Oh, hopefully Dan will like them...

So - on to the next step. Picking a top. Phil curses himself for not preparing his outfit in the morning or even the day before, but damn, he thought he'd had enough time to prepare for the rendezvous with Dan. Thus, Phil gives in with a sigh, digging through his shirts, trying to find something that goes with the trousers...

He doesn't get to pick one. The doorbell rings and Phil's heart drops. Damn, he really, really can't afford another interruption, he needs to get going because what kind of signal would he send if he arrived late to their date? Sure, if he just needed to answer the door, it would be okay, he could still do it, but oh, it won't be that simple. It's probably work related. Sometimes these people just appear in front of his apartment and he can't just send them away. So - yet another delay. And this time, he might have to cancel their dinner date altogether. If he's lucky, he can join Dan for the club hopping they had in mind for after their dinner, but the date...

Well, it's of no use to complain. Phil knew what he signed up for and so far, since he'd been dating Dan, he had simply been lucky there hadn't been any overlaps between his work and his love life. Sure, not inviting Dan over to his apartment is one of the reasons, but mainly, it's luck.

Phil shuts his cupboard, he gets to open the door.

But as soon as he sees the person in front of him, he freezes.

It's Dan.

It's not a random client, it's not someone he's never seen before. It's Dan, right in front of his door, Dan who shouldn't even know where he lived.

"Hi." He smiles at Phil and oh, he doesn't seem like he's aware of crossing the boundaries. Yes, his smile is a bit nervous but it's not a 'I did something wrong' nervousness, he's just as nervous as he'd be if they had met up in front of the restaurant they were planning to visit.

Phil grabs the door frame for some comfort. Then he finally manages to react. “What are you doing here?”

Either Dan mistakes his question for surprise or he just doesn't care. In any case - he keeps smiling, even relaxing a bit. "I was early. So I thought I'd drop by. Didn't want to wait at the restaurant. Also, I brought something for you."

Thus, he pulls out something from behind his back. Phil didn't notice it in the first place, he was too distracted by Dan just being there all of a sudden, but now that he sees the bouquet, he wonders why it didn't catch his attention.

A bouquet. Dan got him a fucking bouquet. With roses. They're purple, light purple, lavender, he isn't sure, but he knows for sure that they are roses.

And still, it doesn't change the fact that Dan got here uninvited.

Damn, if he could, he would have invited Dan long ago. It wasn't about being unwilling or hesitant - he had good reasons. And even showing up with roses doesn't change the fact that Phil didn't want Dan to know where he lives.

He doesn't get to complain. Before he can put his confusion into words, his panic, his anger, Dan hands him over the flowers. Then he musters him, the smile on his face getting even bigger. "You're so pretty."

Phil's heart beat increases. God, under normal circumstances, he would love to hear those words - he still does, to be honest. His crush on Dan is so serious, he still has butterflies in his stomach when Dan is around and getting to hear such sweet words from him makes him even giddier, makes him feel even more glad about the fact that he had the courage to talk to this cute guy in the gay club he often frequents.

But these aren't normal circumstances. So he can't just accept Dan's compliments, he can't just focus on them. No, there's -

Suddenly, Dan frowns. "But - what are you wearing? What is this?"

Yep. There it is. The first reason why Dan shouldn't be here. He didn't get to change his wardrobe completely and whereas he already managed to put on his dinner date trousers, he still wears his work top.

Even though Phil knows what Dan is referring to, he starts a desperate attempt to distract him. He stretches out his leg, presenting his trousers. "D'you like them? You have to, they're black. And there's glitter."

"Mh, yeah..." Dan says absentmindedly, not even looking at his leg. Then he takes a step forward, grabbing the fabric of Phil's top.

God, no.

"But - what's that? It looks so..."

Indescribable. Yep, he knows. The top doesn't have certain shape, it seems like the fabric isn't resting on his body but floating around him instead and the colour -

"It looks like the universe." Dan muses.

Phil tries to smile at him. But only looking at Dan's hand, seeing his two worlds collide with a single touch, makes him feel like he's about to throw up. Dan wasn't supposed to see this, Dan wasn't supposed to know about this and yet, he's here and -

He slowly tries to pull away his sleeve from Dan's grip. But yet again, Dan misses the subtlety. As the fabric threatens to slip from his fingers, he grabs it again and this time, Phil can't bother being subtle anymore, this time, he yanks it away.

Somehow, Dan still gets hold of it. Somehow, Dan manages to pull it aside, revealing the holster on Phil's arm, revealing the knife in the holster on Phil's arm.

One moment, the world is all silent. It feels like someone pressed pause, like time is frozen. Phil just looks at Dan, looks at his confused gaze, knows what he's looking at and oh, he knows what's about to come but it doesn't occur yet and knowing what's about to come makes the silence even eerier.

Then, it's over. Then, hell breaks loose.

Piercing screams. An infinite amount of screams, echoing, repeating.

Dan stumbles back, his eyes are wide with fear. Phil immediately jumps at the chance to pull down his sleeve, but it's too late already. The screams don't cease, they're just a bit muffled now.

The knife is awake.

Dan's gaze moves from Phil's arm upwards, their eyes meet. There's no need for Dan to say anything, Phil can see all the questions in his eyes, mixed with pure horror. But Phil can't say anything either. Of course, he'd love to reach out to Dan, to tell him everything is okay, there's no need to be afraid but it would be a lie and the blood curdling shrieks are a clear proof.

Instead, Phil grabs his arm, trying to get hold of the knife, trying to regain control. God, this is bad enough but if it decided to turn against Dan... He struggles, he nearly cuts himself, he clenches his teeth so hard they're about to burst -

As he lifts his head again, he sees Dan lying on the floor, unconscious.

~*~*~

Pain. Pain, so much pain, that's all Dan can feel at first. Soaring pain somewhere in his head, piercing through his skull. Nevertheless, he opens his eyes and - somehow, it actually helps, somehow, the pain lessens as he blinks a few times.

A white ceiling above him. Too white, a bit too white, he feels a headache approaching just by looking at it. But he's glad about it because this is a different kind of headache and it feels like it's replacing the first one.

He blinks again. Then - A head. Right above him. Phil's head, he realises. He looks worried, so worried and -

Well, he should. Something happened and - what was it? What happened?

Dan tries to get up but immediately, the piercing pain returns. So instead, he rolls over on his side to be able to get a better look at Phil. And slowly, his memory returns - more than just the swift memory of something happening, something so dreadful, so surreal that he couldn't even keep it in mind.

Phil changed his clothes. Or rather - the top. He's still wearing the black glittery pants Dan never saw him wearing - they look really good on him, Dan has to admit. But he changed into a sweater, a cosy hoodie. Dan barely resists the urge to reach out and fix the strings.

He's not wearing the universe top anymore. Oh, and on that note - where's the knife? Was there a knife? Dan is so sure he saw a knife strapped on Phil's arm, but he remembers just as vividly the dread he felt when he looked at it, the pain, the - no, this can't be real, this is -

"Phil. What the fuck -" He coughs, noticing Phil's look get even more concerned. So he hurries to add something. "Don't look at me like that. I'm okay. But -"

"You want to know what's going on." Phil interrupts him.

"Yeah."

Silence. They just look at each other and as the pain eases, Dan can focus on his feelings. No, he isn't mad, he's just confused, so confused.

Then, Phil clears his voice. "I didn't want you to come here."

"You never told me." Dan complains. But it doesn't even take Phil raising his eyebrows to make him realise how weak it sounds. No, it's more, it's not the fact that Phil never told him to stay away, it's -

Something about Phil is strange. And yet, he didn't find out until he intruded Phil's home. Yet, Phil never felt the need to talk to him about it. Shit, he thought they were close, he thought -

"But how did you imagine things would go on with us? If this shit hadn't happened, would I never have been able to visit you? I thought what we had -" Dan swallows but the lump in his throat doesn't go away.

Luckily, Phil's look isn't sceptical at all anymore. Instead, Dan feels like he can see regret on his face.

Then, Phil takes his hand. And even though Dan is still confused as hell, it makes him relax a bit. He's not alone, they're still - something. Whatever.

"I wanted to protect you. And - I was scared of thinking of the future. I never planned to fall in love - I'm so glad it happened, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me, but it's... inconvenient."

Fall in love. There. He said it. After months of dating, after months of meeting up at restaurants and cafés and clubs and - in the last few weeks - at Dan's apartment, Phil finally said it. And even though he's still waiting for an explanation, Dan can't help but feel giddy. He smiles at Phil, squeezing his hand a bit, hoping it tells Phil 'Me too. I fell in love too.'.

Still, he needs to know what's going on. "But - what is it, Phil? What do you want to protect me from?"

Phil sighs, his smile disappears. He keeps clinging to his hand, though. "This is going to sound weird."

"It already is weird. Don't know if it can get any weirder." Dan pouts. And it actually helps - Phil's face lights up a bit, he grins at him for a second.

"Okay. So... The stuff you saw. It's my work gear, basically. I - do you know the Grim Reaper?" Phil asks.

"Yeah. But you don't look like him. He wears something different too. A frock?" Slowly, Dan tries to get up again. This time, the pain is much smaller - bearable. So he sits up, leaning against the back of the couch. Apparently Phil brought him here when everything turned black...

Phil grins at his comment. "Well, I didn't say I'm the Grim Reaper. But..."

Thus, the smile fades from his face. "When my best friend died, I didn't want to accept that he was gone. I wanted to talk to him one last time. And that's when - I can't even tell you exactly what happened. I had a conversation but I don't know who I talked to - somehow, it took place in my head, but there was something else. Someone else. I don't know. All I know is that I got the universe top you saw and the knife. And - a task."

Dan is dumbfounded. This all sounds so surreal, so made up, so -

No. It doesn’t sound made up and that's the biggest issue. He can't just shrug it off as Phil talking nonsense, it feels too real, too true, but he can't tell why.

After taking a deep breath, Phil continues. "I could see my friend one last time. But I had to accompany him to the afterlife. And - he wasn't the only one. It's my job, somehow. Whenever someone dies, I have to accompany them to the afterlife and then cut their ties to the world."

"So that's why you've got the knife!" 'So that's why the knife is so weird', Dan wants to add but there's no way he could put into words how that knife made him feel. Well, seeing that it's some kind of supernatural tool... No wonder it had a strange aura.

"Yes. The top makes sure nobody can see me and I need the knife to cut the last ties." Phil smiles at him, but -

He looks insecure. Scared. Dan decides to dig deeper. "Are you afraid I'll judge you for this?"

With a jerk, he lifts his head, looking Dan into the eyes. And oh, he's actually scared. "Don't you?"

Well. Good question.

What Phil just told him is so surreal. It doesn't make sense at all. Or - yes, maybe it does make sense but it's so far fetched,So incomprehensible, so completely removed from anything Dan had ever known. Of course, it's not easy to grasp all of it, of course he's still puzzled even now that he got his explanation. But -

Dan leans forward, resting his forehead against Phil's.

"I don't care. I only care about you."

Phil relaxes immediately. For a moment, he closes his eyes, then the corners of his eyes lift.

And then, it dawns on Dan. It’s the truth - he didn’t just say it to comfort Phil. Sure, he needs some time and probably some long talks to comprehend what’s going on, to come to terms with Phil’s revelation. But he really wants to.

Because he loves Phil. No matter what.


End file.
